New York Steakhouse fills empty areas with wax stars and leaves you ingesting with a frozen Don Draper

Last spring, a chef found out how to comply with COVID-19 capacity rules by filling his restaurant with some creepy mannequins. It’s nearly a year later, and since we’re still dealing with the same pandemic that made the puppet dinners necessary in the first place, the restaurant industry had to escalate this novel tactic by bringing in corpse-like Madame Tussauds sculptures to attract customers to the view to eat alongside frozen celebrities.

The New York Post explains that Peter Luger Steakhouse decided to breathe a little more life into his dining room by filling it with five wax affronts to God like Jon Hamm, Audrey Hepburn, Al Roker, Jimmy Fallon and Michael Strahan. David Berson, the vice president of the Brooklyn restaurant, believes “a lot of people like it” and doesn’t realize when first entering the steakhouse that they haven’t just bumped into the long-dead Hepburn or Hamm in his Don Draper suit out to eat sit down.

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“Someone asked Jon Hamm yesterday if he knew where the bathroom was,” says Berson. He doesn’t add whether the fake Hamm’s waxy head was turning slowly to look the customer straight in the eye and speak instructions to the washrooms in forgotten demonic language. However, he jokes that the staff “tries not to let go [the Hepburn figure] smoke “the cigarette she is holding in her hand, and that the celebrity sculptures are” all COVID-free “and are” leading their best lives “.

Those kind of jokes make us think that Berson knows more than he wants to admit – that maybe he heard the tortured screams of Al Roker’s soul as she tried to break free from her wax prison late at night, or the rasping laughs the Jimmy Fallon doll wiggling back and forth in its seat, hoping to hit the floor and break apart in the only form of sweet, restful death a sculpture can achieve.

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